Pilgrimage to Boudha

In 2007—with my husband Ngakpa 'ö-Dzin— I visited Kathmandu in Nepal. A few of our students joined us there, with members of Ngak'chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen's sangha, and also with Ngak'chang Rinpoche himself. The primary purpose of the visit was to meet Kyabjé Künzang Dorje Rinpoche and Jomo Sam'phel Déchen – the root teachers of Ngak'chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen.

It was most inspiring to meet this elderly Tibetan couple who have been practitioners all their life and are highly regarded for their presence and realisation. It was also inspiring to be with my own Lama in the presence of his Lama, and feel the great affection and respect between them. There are many wonderful pictures of Kyabjé Künzang Dorje Rinpoche and Jomo Sam'phel Déchen on the Aro Encyclopædia website – although none of these were taken in 2007 as Kyabjé Künzang Dorje Rinpoche did not allow photography during our visits at that time.

There were many opportunities during our two weeks in Kathmandu to purchase practice items and artefacts, as well as clothing. Here we are pictured wearing the Tibetan costume we purchased, taken before the beginning of the celebration at our apprentice retreat in Abergavenny later in 2007. Ngakpa 'ö-Dzin and I are hoping to be able to visit Boudha again later this year, and meet with Kyabjé Künzang Dorje Rinpoche and Jomo Sam'phel Déchen. We are also hoping to take our sons with us to meet these great Lamas.

Jumping

It is interesting how we let previous experience get in the way of the present moment. I have been wanting to jump my horse over a log in the wood for a long time, and every time the opportunity presents itself I have lacked the courage to try it. I know that jumping can be an exhilarating and enjoyable experience – so why have I been avoiding it?

We own two horses, Dee and Red. My relationship with Red started badly, owing to an accident caused by a saddle slipping. I suffered an injury to my knee that took a long time to heal. This was the first past experience that was getting in the way of the present moment.

The other past experiences that were preventing me from seizing the moment, were times in the past that I have actually fallen off while jumping. These incidents have always been on riding stables' horses that did not really want to jump, and—sensing my nervousness and reluctance to push them on—swerved away at the last moment, or almost stopped and then did a huge leap from a near-standstill.

However jumping logs in the wood is fun. Riders enjoy it; horses enjoy it. The logs in question are quite small—probably only 1 ft high—so there is no reason to doubt the willingness of a horse to jump them. Jumping such a small log is not really very different for the rider than continuing at a canter. I know all of this, so why do I let past unfortunate experiences and projection of possible problems prevent me from enjoying jumping a log?

Yesterday, I seized the moment, I relaxed into the confidence of myself as a rider and my horse as a sensible mount. We sailed over two logs – and it was indeed barely perceptible as a change in canter pace. But Red and I thoroughly enjoyed it and our relationship has grown because of it. Our confidence in each other has deepened, and the moment of presence we shared was most wonderful.